Soul Portrait was born out of my experience as admissions coordinator in a 120-bed nursing home. During a short span of time, I learned one of the greatest lessons of my life: we all want to be known, appreciated, and loved for who we are. It took this experience, along with 25 years of working in the community on behalf of elders, families, advocates, and caregivers, to help me understand how critical it is for each of us to open up and share more of ourselves.
Soul Portrait is about making aging personal and having a voice in our health care. Unlike living wills or health care directives that specify what actions should be taken for our physical health (including life support measures), Soul Portrait is about going deeper and revealing some of the things that enrich our life or present us with challenges. It's a communication tool that encourages us to share more of who we are with family, close friends, medical care providers, and potential caregivers. As a result of knowing us better, every one of these people will be empowered to advocate for us and support our quality of life.
Soul Portrait also helps us learn more about ourselves by answering relevant questions and reviewing the life we've lived. For example, when was the last time you thought about the little things others do for you that make you know you are valued, respected, and loved? For me, it's when someone listens to me with their full attention. Because of Soul Portrait, I was able to think about how and why that means so much to me, and whether or not I give others the same respect. I got the answers I was looking for when I reviewed how the issue of listening has played a role in building up or tearing down past relationships.
Aside from health care advocacy and learning more about yourself through reflection and life review, there are other great uses for Soul Portrait. Whether you are in a new relationship or one that has lasted 40 years, there is usually something you'd like to share with the other person that doesn't roll right off your tongue; Soul Portrait helps you express it. If you have an aging parent, Soul Portrait is a great way to start the dialogue about his or her future (which involves you). Maybe you work with older adults and know you can deliver better care but aren't sure how to go about it; or perhaps you are approaching old age yourself and have wondered how you can breathe life into your name on the family tree. Soul Portrait can help.
Soul Portrait is a simple approach to making soul connections and fostering compassion for yourself and others. Along with my experiences, reflections, and tips, there are many topics to think about --potentially interesting and revealing topics that can generate meaningful discussions with those you love, or enlighten those who may someday play a role in your health care. Inside Soul Portrait, you will learn about my father, a fiercely independent man who would have preferred death to being dependent on someone else. You'll read about Maria, an elder whom no one knew, and with whom no one could communicate. There is a letter to men, written by a male friend of mine who wants to assure men this is not just a book for women. You'll learn ways to complete your own Soul Portrait or help someone else create theirs.
If you want to learn more about the people you love, Soul Portrait makes a thoughtful gift. And finally, if you want to express more of who you are to those same people, Soul Portrait is a gift you can give to yourself.
(c) Sally Z McBain